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The
following is an essay I submitted for my Psychology class when I was in
junior college. If you're a chat addict or used to be a chat addict like
myself, chances are, you might find yourself agreeing to some of the
statements below.
As
I was reading the last few paragraphs of the article “Were You
Born that Way” regarding the possibility of “tinkering with
one’s genes” in the future, to produce a desirable trait or
physical feature even before one is born, I cannot help but
observe that in this modern technological world, we are already
somehow tinkering with “how we were born” through deliberate
deception and pretension of who we are really not. This, I can
see particularly in the huge
popularity Internet chatting has obtained for several years.
A person who has a modem, PC and internet connection can already
communicate with a limitless amount of strangers at the same
time from all over the world, pretending to be someone he or
she is not, possibly
making up how he/she really looks.
I used to strongly oppose the proliferation
of “cyber romance” or the establishment of a romantic relationship
via the Internet. I thought that cyber romance or at least deep
friendship defied all the conventional forms of courtship/intimacy and
solely communicating verbally could not make up for the other elements
in a friendship/romance that was so apparently lacking when chatting
(things such as holding hands, facial expressions etc.) I held on to
this belief until I myself got immersed and managed to establish close
relationships with certain people primarily and solely through chatting.
I discovered that most adolescents and young adults are at the stage
wherein the need for intimacy is seemingly most pronounced. Surprisingly, this need for intimacy
CAN
actually be fulfilled merely by typing words on the screen, facing the
monitor, wondering who is it really you are chatting with on the other
end.
More than anything else, I have realized
for myself the truth in what I learned from Social Psychology:
Anonymity
can release both playfulness and intimacy.
Playfulness
can extend from mere flirting to outright deception to extreme
form of violence or intimidation (such as cases of stalking).
However, the other side of the coin, intimacy, is what makes
chatting an excellent avenue for releasing both negative and
positive emotions, if not for establishing friendships or finding
your perfect match in the long-run. In other words, it may be
easier to both
lie
and to be honest in chatting. The
two extremes are more likely to occur in the face of anonymity.
Perhaps this will always be the paradox of
chatting for me. It has become my addiction and source of “release”
because I am more willing to open up with some strangers I met, who
eventually became my most trusted confidante. However, it has also been
a source of confusion and alarm for me at times; just as I can
“tinker” with what I have, who I am, how I really look like, so can
others do the same. It does not take a scientist to “toy” with our
or others’ personalities and looks—at least for the time being,
while almost everyone is hooked online.
Copyright
© 1999 by Catherine Ongking. All rights reserved. Should you wish to
quote the whole of or any part of this essay, please email me at <cathyongking@edsamail.com.ph>
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